Tough acting Tinactin

Over the season, Block U will have guest commentators discussing Utah's current basketball troubles. You can read Tom Cruise's diary, Pres. Bush's diary, Lisa Simpson's diary and Britney Spears' diary. Today football commentator and video game pimp John Madden gives his thoughts on Utah basketball.

Hey folks, John Madden here!

I want to talk about Utah basketball for a second. I know you're asking yourselves, what in the world does John Madden know about basketball? Well I know enough and I know this Giacoletti guy just isn't getting it done. One time I played basketball, I was coaching over there in Oakland and I mean, it was crazy, know what I mean? Great times, I think Pat Summerall was there, guy is a freaking zombie. Anyway, I won...I think, I mean, you know? I don't. Boom!

I'll tell you right now though, don't let those kids fly to basketball games, I mean, you know? That's Utah's problem right there and the reason, I mean, the Utes aren't winning. You know? Yeah, it's this crazy flying, where the plane lifts up into the air and travels through the air, I mean, that screws with their heads, you know? I don't fly, never have never will. I mean, I mean, you know what I'm talking about?

It's crazy! I mean I can pinpoint the reason why Utah is losing and it's simple, folks. Utah is not scoring more points than their opponent. I mean they do that and they should get some wins under their belt, you know? Bam!

Speaking of belts, don't you hate jock itch? I mean I get this itchy feeling under my belt every now and then and it's a real bugger. That's when I use Tough acting Tinactin, it'll clear up that jock itch in days, know what I mean? I think you can go buy that down at Ace Hardware or some place like that. Hey, maybe Utah can get their next basketball coach there, they sell everything!

Well folks, I might need to go change my pants now. I mean, the old plumbing ain't what it used to be, know what I mean?

Until next time,

John