Strategery! Utah needs to stay the course.

Over the season, Block U will have guest commentators discussing Utah's current basketball troubles. Yesterday, Lisa Simpson chimed in and today we're honored to have President Bush's thoughts on Utah basketball.

Dear Journal,

Here's a joke for ya' Journal. What's lower than my approval ratings? Utah's basketball program! ZING! I kid, I kid, Journal. Uh oh, Laura didn't take too kindly to my joke there...she's got something up her butt. Oooh, ticked her off even more. Damn, guess it's the couch once again for me tonight.

Anyway, I'm writing this journal in hopes of fixing the problem with Utah basketball. They're, uh, good folks down there in Utah. Mighty fine people that, uh, have seen better days. But I believe that even though things aren't going well for this hoops team, they must stay the course. Firing Giacoletti sends the wrong message to the University of Utah's allies and if they're ever going to win this thing, change is not the answer.

I cons....hold up, gotta look up how that word is spelled....consulted my advisors and they tell me changing course will have an ad...adve...adverse effect on the future stability of the program. I think I read that right, anyway. Maybe they meant advertise....hm, Utah needs to advertise its basketball program better. Surely that'll fix their problems? In fact, this  reminds me of a predicament I found myself in a few years ago. I wanted to go to war with that Saddam bin Laden, but I knew the American folk would not like that. So instead of telling them I wanted war with Iraqastan, I decided to say they had weapons of mass destruction. Hm, I guess it really isn't the same predicament, but I got through it by telling the American people war wouldn't last but a few months. Giacoletti should just tell the fans that success will come in a few months. That should buy him time, heck it bought me 4 more years!

Well, I gotta go journal, my Saudi friends are here to talk oil profits. Oh joy!

Until next time,

George Dubya Bush