clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Arnold Schwarzenegger discusses UCLA football

It's hard to get an idea of how good these UCLA Bruins truly are. They looked fairly impressive in their opening season win against Stanford, but less impressive last week against BYU. So to really get an understanding of these boys from Westwood, I sat down with long-time California resident and current governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He'll pump you up!

Block U: Thank you Governor for taking time out of your busy day to sit down with us.

AS:, Ya'.

Block U: How good is UCLA?

AS: Ha! Da Bruins are pumped and ready to roll. [weird grunt]. I'm personally der trainer and dey can definitely feel da burn.

Block U: So we can expect them to be very well conditioned?

AS: Ya', do you have a problem wit dat?

Block U: No, just makes it that more difficult for Utah. How does Ben Olson look?

AS: He's a stud. He will crush his enemies, he is no girlie man!

Block U: What makes him a stud?

AS: Because I knew an Olson in Austria and he was one tough sonofabitch. He ate glass once, I laughed. We were high.

Block U: I don't think Ben Olson is Austrian, or even German.

AS: Same name, lame brain! Ha!

Block U: ...

AS: Your scrawny ass got quiet all of da suddent, what gives?

Block U: I'm sorry, I just didn't expect a politician to talk like this.

AS: I'm not into politics, I'm into survival!

Block U: But you're the governor of California.

AS: Governor? Oh, dats right. Arnold's bad.

Block U: Right. Is there anything else you can tell us about UCLA?

AS: Dey kill anything dat bleeds.

Block U: Oh I get it, you're using movie quotes now.

AS: Movie quotes? Dis is how I talk.

Block U: Ok then, what do you think of Coach Dorrell? He's been on the hot seat lately.

AS: Loser! Dis guy can't coach his way way out of paper bag.

Block U: Really? But you think the Bruins will win?

AS: Ya'. What da hell is a Ute, anyway?

Block U: An American Indian tribe.

AS: Da Utes are from India? I think I shot a movie der once.

Block U: No, American Indian. You know, Native Americans?

AS: I'm a native of Austria. My fadda was a Nazi.

Block U: ...

AS: Do I intimidate you?

Block U: No.

AS: Den I'm not doin' my job! [gets up out of chair and begins flexing his muscles]

Block U: I think that will do it, thanks again, Governor.

[Governor Schwarzenegger grunts, lifts me up into the air and spins me around]

As with all these celebrity interviews, this one did not actually take place!