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The coaches speak out

The Mountain West Conference held its annual media day earlier this week and some of the conference's most known coaches opened up to Block U. It provided a rare glimpse into the personal views of these coaches. And though the interviews were brief, they were quite enjoyable in their themes.

Rocky Long:

"I chew on glass when I'm stressed because it provides me with mouth pain that draws my attention away from what I'm stressing on to begin with. I don't know, man, sometimes coaching can be tough, especially when you're stuck doing it here in Albuquerque. I mean, yeesh, I'm probably the only coach in America who has fans trying to sell him meth at halftime. Really, what the hell is up with that? I don't get it."

Chuck Long:                                                                                                                                 

"Uh, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't coach New Freaking Mexico. I'm not Rocky, I don't look anything like him and I'm really tired of people asking me how the Lobos' running game will look this year. C'mon guys, he's Rock and I'm Chuck, it ain't that hard to get, aight?"

Bronco Mendenhall:

"Football is fundamental and our boys understand the complex nature of this process. The sole purpose of this game is to expand the total on the scoreboard more than your opponent by reaching each end of the field in a certain amount of seconds and minutes. You do this by progression created through movement in the direction opposite of your own goal line. This is called scoring."

Gary Patterson:

"Dude, I'm seriously gettin' the munchies here. I know, I know, my wife put me on a diet last week, but damn, have you tried Vegas food? It's like -- it's like simple bliss. I mean, dude, it's some amazing stuff. Last night, at the restaurant in my hotel, I had the meanest stuffed shells this side of Italy. Wait, were we discussing football? My wife once baked me a football shaped cake. Uh oh, gotta tie my shoes..."

Mike Sanford:

Mike Sanford could not be reached for comment, as he was working on his resume.

Kyle Whittingham:

"We're gonna be super sweet this year. I see sooooo much more improvement over last year's squad, it's scary ridiculous. I won't say BCS, but, you know, I won't say won't either, if you know what I mean. This team has all the parts for an awesome run through the's going to be totally amazing, you know, if things work out like we hope they will."

The rest were unavailable for comment, though expect some more in depth interviews in the coming weeks.