What in the hell was that? How could the Utes play the exact same game two weeks in a row? Am I freaking Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, forced to live the same pathetic and torturous college football Saturday over and over again?
Did Utah piss off some turnover god during their epic rout of BYU a few weeks ago? DO WE HAVE GREG BRADY'S HAWAIIAN TIKI SOMEWHERE ON THE SIDELINES?
I NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE! Because seriously, this is just obscene. How can a team have so many awful, horrible turnovers in back-to-back weeks? How did we become the New Mexico Lobos of the Pac-12?
You know, this is like Thanksgiving as a kid and wanting to sit at the grown-ups table and finally getting the call up, only to blow it by telling a crude joke.
That's how I feel right now.
Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?