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10 things that are more likely to happen than Utah beating BYU

I'm sure you're all waiting in anticipation for today's Utah-BYU game. This is a long and storied basketball rivalry with some miraculous shots, remarkable comebacks and dominant wins.

It's also the most even of the Holy War sports.

For years and years, the Cougars and Utes were always extremely good teams. But lately, that hasn't been the case. Outside 2009, Utah has hardly put up a fight in this rivalry the last six or so seasons. In fact, they've only won once since defeating BYU in the '06 Mountain West Conference Tournament.

The Cougars have really toyed with Utah lately and I can unequivocally say that it will happen once again today. Fortunately, only one game is scheduled between these two, so the pain shouldn't last but a few hours.

With that said, if you're hoping the Utes have a chance in this game, I'm here to set you straight. Here are ten things that are more likely to happen than Utah beating BYU...

10. Shawn Bradley returns to the NBA.

09. Bronco Mendenhall cracks a smile.

08. Rick Majerus and Chris Hill become BFF.

07. Rick Perry wins the presidency.

06. The Jazz win the NBA championship.

05. BYU joins the Big 12.

04. Jon Hays wins the Heisman.

03. Jordan Wynn makes it through a season without injury.

02. UCLA names a head football coach.

And the number one thing more likely to happen than Utah beating BYU...

01. I start cheering for the Cougars.